suave_thomas: (Saddened)
I miss you. I'm distracting myself in any way I can, but all I can really think about is you. And that you're going through something horrible. And I have to stand back and let Indiana Jones and Charlie's Angels look for you because when I was helping, I was too afraid of Amaris and the Templar and I held them all back.

I've become a fraidy cat. A loser. I used to be that guy. That 'burst into the building and bust heads and then ask questions' guy. Now I'm 'hide in the fortress house and teach myself dance moves to hide my weeping soul' guy. I try to pretend I'm fine but I'm not. And I'm actually terrified someone might ask why I'm NOT out with them. What would I say? Sorry, I travelled all this way to panic attack my way into the splits, but I did learn a new sandwich recipe!

My best friend is suffering and I know how he feels and I am useless. I've been rendered useless.

I'm so sorry.
suave_thomas: (Down)
I would get back to London the day after you leave.

I love you, Babe. Everything's okay. I think all Hell broke loose, but Lavannah's safe in hospital. And it wasn't Aurelia, it was her damn fucking twin sister. Confirmed now by Dr Wentworth who casually said, "I never told you she had a twin sister?"

No, Dr Twatface, you didn't. I can't really be mad at him though because had I still been alive at this juncture, he would be the reason I wouldn't be attached to a food tube.

I'm being belligerent. I'm in a shite mood. I don't really want to talk about the fight. Before that, Peter and I got separated from Svetlana and Mary and there were a bunch of ghosts (hundreds, I am not exaggerating) who cornered us in this prison cell and locked the door. And I wasn't doing so well there because of course our supplies got dropped outside the cell in the ghost attack. And I was watching Peter go hungry and it made me a little bit mad. And then we kissed. And I'm so sorry. And it doesn't mean anything except that once we loved each other and we're still best friends and Mary already whacked me upside the head for it, as she should have. And I didn't filter this to her for once because I want you to feel comfortable to react any way you want to without feeling like someone else is going to read it and judge. Not that she would... And you should probably expect a post from Peter too because you know him and guilt.

Argh. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll be here when you get back (unless you want me to come there because I will if you need it. I'm sure Mary will understand...) and I may have already purchased some 'I'm a shitty husband' presents that are waiting for you on our bed.

Next time I go off on some harebrained rescue mission, can you remind me that I have issues which may complicate things and until I work them out I should avoid putting myself into situations which may exacerbate my symptoms?

Holy shit, I just spoke 'Abby'.

I'm hoping you find that charming.

Are you mad...?
suave_thomas: (Into the Light)
I did something stupid.

Does anyone remember Cain? He was the man who was working with Amaris when she had me and later Christina and William. He was the one with the gun who made certain there was no escape. And the one time I tried, he shot out my kneecaps. I saw him again today. Lavannah was shot in the attack on her house, but it wasn't by a Templar because the Templar didn't have guns in that attack. We figured it was a civilian, so Paul and I worked together to track them down and all paths lead to Cain. Ryn shot him in the leg, and he was in hospital recovering. But when I saw him, I got angry. And what I should have done was contact Paul (who was outside...) and tell him to apprehend Cain but instead he said stupid things and he made me mad so I sort of...attacked him. He was in a hospital bed and I attacked him! Augh. I'm horrified at myself. And the nurses called the police, and I was carted off. Meanwhile, Paul wondered why I hadn't shown back up. When he went upstairs, Cain was gone. How I do not know. But he was. He made his way to the station and managed to get to them before they processed me so the fuzz didn't wonder why they had such an offensive corpse on their hands. Good thing I've never been fingerprinted before, hmm?

So now my name is Ash Bigglesby. Because Paul had to make up a name and he was pissed off... And uhm...I suck. The one good thing? Cain ran away, which means he can't press charges. So I won't be in any more trouble than I was this morning. Peter paid my 'disruptive idiot' fine because he's lovely.

I do not like people who shoot people!!

(Also...Spectre...I uhm...think some people took photos of me...I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!)

June 2011

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