suave_thomas: (Deathly Quiet)
gonna go see amaris
suave_thomas: (Sexy Butt)
Does the fact that I'm a little afraid to attend Quinn and Flynn's wedding tomorrow make me a total pussy? Amaris took me from Mums' wedding and I know she's in the hospital now, but *shudders*

I have issues. Hopefully the buck's night will make me forget allllll about them.

Hahhahaa they have no idea what they're in for. But it includes me. Dancing. In very little clothing. Because I can so be an exotic dancer when friends are involved.
suave_thomas: (Ruffian in colour)
I'm home. James has this incredible way at getting to the crux of an issue even though he's just under 3 and doesn't know what 'crux' means. He clearly doesn't need to. Anyway, he said the right thing. And now Abby is making me dinner and I'm lounging on the sofa and trying to relax.

It's not easy.
suave_thomas: (Suave romance)
As much as I hate the shite I went through at the end of my second life, I have to say some of the knowledge came in handy. Eating, even though I don't feel hunger, still makes the pull less. Like the energy which would go nowhere, goes to fighting it. So, once again, I am eating like a machine. It's going okay.

Scarlett still isn't ready to go home so I'm going to stay here with her. Stephie too. Marie and James come to see us every day. And today I went to see your father again and he started asking about kids. He wanted to know if you had any natural children from 'sleeping around as he did in his youth' (I patted him) and I said I was pretty sure you hadn't slept with a woman, but then I realised I don't actually know for sure. I never asked.

ANYway, I didn't tell him about James and Marie because for some reason the idea of him knowing about them still scares me. I don't want him to decide that they're the next generation of warriors for God or something. The idea of them going through what you went through makes me so sick. Maybe after he sees Hell is a lie. Maybe then.

I love you.
suave_thomas: (Lothario)
Word to the wise? Don't take food from my hands.

I almost slaughtered Peter for that this morning. Normally he would have known better, but he was more than a little out of it. Which brings me to my next point.

He's passed out in his office, sleeping off the fact that he hasn't slept in three days. I'll be out this afternoon, helping with the search, but tonight I need to be at home with Spectre. I spent last night away from him and I don't want to deprive him of another night.
suave_thomas: (Pouty with Candles)
Last night, Deirdre made me eat green beans to prove how much I love Spectre. And I did it, thank you very much. Have you ever seen a dead man turn as green as a bean? Well...Deirdre took pictures. Isn't she kind?

And then I had a panic attack in the shower. No particular reason, I just did. So I rang Abby. And she made me talk to another doctor who diagnosed me over the phone. Ah, the life of a rock star's entourage. Apparently I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Which I suppose is not all that surprising. Except, I'm sure it's the first case of it ever occurring in the dead... I know what it is. And I can deal with it. I will be okay, because there's just no other option. Being here and talking to you all even though I want to crawl in a hole and never come out...that's part of making myself okay.

I'll be here with my Spectre for a little while yet. Then I'll come home to London and try to help with the thing I'm actually supposed to be here for. Inconvenient real 'life'. And of course, to snuggle with my Mumsie when no one else is around to call me a pansy for doing it. Well...except Mums. But she says 'Pansy' with love.

And uhm...if I disappointed anyone...I'm sorry. I disappointed myself too.

Oh, and Peter and Aly? Happy anniversary. And happy birthday, Aly. You're gorgeous.

June 2011

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