suave_thomas: (To the Future)
Hey, Joe. In all the fuss and muss I forgot to mention something.

I'm really proud of you for going on a date with Angie. How did it go?
suave_thomas: (Kissy Kissy)
You okay, Baby?

James told me he and Coco were playing with his balls today. I loved that. Innocence is precious. It helps me with ignoring all the messy and potentially mental-making things right now. Like how thin she is. No no. Balls. Silly balls.

I love you.
suave_thomas: (Sexy Butt)
Okay, I've been back for a while now and I still haven't been with my husband and I'm starting to get a little grumpy about it! There may have been an incident where Deirdre asked if I wanted something to eat and I shouted, comically mind you, "I DON'T WANT FOOD I WANT LOVE!" (Take a moment to marvel at the fact that those words came out of my mouth)

To which Deirdre replied, "I DON'T HAVE THAT IN MY PANTRY!"

I don't really have much to say to that, probably beyond 'good...'.

Can someone watch the kids and tell me where my beautiful man is hiding?
suave_thomas: (Ruffian)
Only in this family could you admit to doing something you're not necessarily proud of, and get back nothing but love and support.

Thank you. All of you. For being so wonderful to my husband. As he said, we had already moved on. We were well past it. In fact, we were past it before any of you even knew I was back. How could I be angry when my poor husband was so distraught because he missed me? To put it lightly. There was no wrongdoing. No one was hurt. And then we were together again and just so relieved to be so.

And tonight you all proved to me, once again, why I wouldn't trade my childhood or any of you for anything. You make my soul smile!

And Abs? When you admit to making a mistake here, you know you'll get the same treatment as Spectre did. I love you. I need to be elsewhere right now, but I love you. I never want you to doubt it. It would upset me so much if you did.
suave_thomas: (Oh Hello)
Right, okay. So hi. I'm really back. Really. I'm so sorry I got lost. I didn't know where I was, or why I was stuck there. I couldn't see anything or hear anyone...there was just nothingness and I was terrified. For the past...little bit, whatever it was that kept me there started to fade. I can only guess that was because Peter had a vision that said you searching for me was making it worse somehow? Anyway... I got free today and it was Sacrifice. Sacrifice and some demon were holding me there. I don't know how, though I can guess at why. Because she's a stupid cunt-headed bitch.

Ahem. Sorry. It was hellish to say the least. Hellish.

Deirdre brought me back. I know that's confusing as well, but she did. When I first saw her, I thought she was dead too, but she wasn't, thank everything. She was having a hell of a time fighting the pull. But we were able to fight it together.

Apparently I have missed a crapload of shit in just two months. So...I think it would be a good idea to be filled in.

Again, I'm so sorry I was gone. I hate that you all must have worried. Now it's my turn to worry, and to help. I'm me again. Strong. The way I was before Amaris got to me. And I'll do whatever needs doing.

After I see my kids. And my Mums.
suave_thomas: (To the Future)
Hi there...

Peter told me you're safe somewhere. I uhm...I wanted to say I understand. Needing to leave. I know it's scary. I hate that someone took my face and used it to be amoung the people I love for two weeks. I hate that someone could do that to you again, and making you afraid of me... It makes me so angry. But Stephie, I'm not angry at you. Never.

I changed my passwords and I was trying to think of something that could prove to you that it was me, but the only thing I can think of is that before all of this happenend I was scared because of what happened in the park and Spectre was away and you slept beside me and I wasn't so afraid with you there. I don't know if I could properly explain how much that meant to me. Those quiet moments alone with you...they made me feel safe. I want you to know that thinking of you was one of the things that got me through the last two weeks too. When it was bad...really bad and I needed some memory of happiness to cling to, I thought of jogging with you in the park or seeing you with Marie. Laughing with you and Tasha. You are one of my happy thoughts. I'm lucky to have so many.

I miss you, Stephie. And I miss Marie like part of myself. But you take your time. You need to feel safe too. If there's anything I can do...please. Just ask. Hell, I'll let Deirdre suck part of my soul to prove to you it's me, though I think Deirdre might not like that so much. Josie then. And she could rip my arms off too, if I turned out to be an evil whore.

I'm just me. I'm just Thomas. Thomas who loves you.
suave_thomas: (Inspire)
Bernard Littleton died this morning at about 10 AM. I had just been there, though believe me I think I pulled about 20 stitches and won't be walking across the city like this again... I went to forgive him. I was so tired of being angry. And even if it wasn't readily obvious, I really was. I don't want that shit all bottled up inside me anymore. So I forgave him. And then he made me give him his last rites which was weird, but it made him feel better. He asked me about Heaven. I told him he didn't have to be afraid. And he died just after. He's not in pain anymore, which...it's good to know.
suave_thomas: (That's right I am barechested)
Quinn!!

That being said, every time I move it fuckin' hurts like I've been attacked by a cheese grater. Or really big paper cuts... So I can't help look for Kat, which is insanely frustrating. Maybe someone should check in with Bianca again? Just to see what else is happening? It makes me all ishy now that I can't watch myself aaarrrgghhhh.

My time with Amaris was short, and while she certainly made her mark (pun intended because I'm still a little crazed) the effect she had on me was much less than last time. She didn't get inappropriate, at least not with me, and I was able to watch over Aly. We're both alright. Aly's a trooper. She threw a mirror at Amaris and it shattered all the fuck everywhere, it was fuckin' brilliant! Amaris tried to force me into something I'm not. She tried to make me sleep with Aly, who clearly was as keen on the idea as I was. And I refused to become Brian. I said no, and it worked. There was a cost...there always is with Amaris. But it was far better than losing myself. So I come away with scars you can see, but they're preferable to ones that lay hidden beneath the surface.
suave_thomas: (Pensive)
I just had to take a moment, especially now...

You all had to survive without me for a very long time. And I'm so sorry for that. I'm here now, though. Here for all of you. Out there, some families are doing horrible things to each other. So I wanted to say it, though I know you are all very aware. I love you. With every bit of my heart. I love you all, and I would move Heaven and Earth for you. Even if you do know. That's something that can always do with being said.

June 2011

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