suave_thomas: (Fond)
Hey, baby. First of all YAY MARA! Second of all YAY Quinn and Flynn! And third of all, I told you I talked to your father over LJ yesterday. I went on for ages about how wonderful you are because he wanted to know more about you? Apparently what I said had an effect on him. He wrote me this today.

I was up all night thinking about what you said, Thomas. I can see your point of view. I think, however, that you are operating with information I don't have.

You once proposed that you show me this...place you call the Beyond. I need to know for sure. To see it for myself. If I am going to know for sure that your homosexuality does not condemn you to hell, I need to see the proof.

If I see that...I think I can accept your relationship. I trust now that you would not be using Adrian's powers to fool me. You reached out to me and you would not have gone through all of this if it was as easy as creating an illusion. I am ready when you are.


We haven't had time to do it before because I was here and then there was touring and then I was here again. I'll be gone in a few days, which is for the best, because I'm getting a bit sore. When I'm gone, it would probably be the right time to bring him to the Beyond. I'll be there, and he can see being gay doesn't send you to Hell. Just make sure Mums or someone is there with your body as well, like we said, though I worry much less about him hurting you these days. It just can't hurt to have someone else he trusts there.

Unless you're not ready for this? If you're not, it's perfectly okay, Babe. Rushing into things never works out.

Also, have I mentioned how attractive your tight little body is when you wear your swimmers? Because yowza.
suave_thomas: (Watching)
Hey, Samson. We got to Spain safely and everyone here is doing really well. Spectre mentioned you were feeling a little isolated, so I wanted to drop a note and see how you were.

I also wanted to apologise. When Abby and Spectre didn't want to tell you about what happened to Mara, I agreed. And I'm very sorry for that. I'm sorry for not taking into account the fact that you've sworn to change. I saw my husband and my little sister panicking and I fell right in line. And I just wanted you to know I'm sorry for that.
suave_thomas: (Suave romance)
As much as I hate the shite I went through at the end of my second life, I have to say some of the knowledge came in handy. Eating, even though I don't feel hunger, still makes the pull less. Like the energy which would go nowhere, goes to fighting it. So, once again, I am eating like a machine. It's going okay.

Scarlett still isn't ready to go home so I'm going to stay here with her. Stephie too. Marie and James come to see us every day. And today I went to see your father again and he started asking about kids. He wanted to know if you had any natural children from 'sleeping around as he did in his youth' (I patted him) and I said I was pretty sure you hadn't slept with a woman, but then I realised I don't actually know for sure. I never asked.

ANYway, I didn't tell him about James and Marie because for some reason the idea of him knowing about them still scares me. I don't want him to decide that they're the next generation of warriors for God or something. The idea of them going through what you went through makes me so sick. Maybe after he sees Hell is a lie. Maybe then.

I love you.
suave_thomas: (Thomas on the Town!)
I'm still at the hospital. Scarlett and Stephie are awake more often now and I think I might go get us all cake soon! I hope cake doesn't freak them both out... Cake is pretty non-offensive, right? And also sooo good.

I had a long chat with your father. I thanked him for what he did, because when I saw him right afterwards I wasn't much for the talking. And then we chatted about what he said on your journal. He was shocked we both considered it strange because he said he always loved his family and he was surprised this wasn't obvious. We talked about about how people percieve love. I actually had to stop him from ringing you after we had lunch because you would have been in sound check probably. And I'm assuming you'd rather have the conversation when you get back? It'll be okay though, baby. He'll listen to you. I think he wants to listen to you. I said it would be very easy to take his actions as actions not of love but of hate and he got very upset. I think he regrets a great deal.

I hope you don't mind that I talked to him... It's okay, right? Even though asking now is a total cop-out. I just felt it was important to at least bring up to him now, lest he continue to do it and not understand why you don't respond.

I love you. I miss you. You've been gone a day and already I'm all piney. But at least I know you're safe and happy and having the time of your life. That's worth a hell of a lot.

Did Deirdre get you drunk last night?
suave_thomas: (*raised eyebrows*)
You know what's weird? Besides Peter dying for like the 37th time. Every time I go to see Samson Mors, he looks at me like I'm the second coming. (Ahahahha! Sorry, dirty mind. ...oh fuck GROSS!) I don't know why. In his mind I used to be the terrible ex-monk who corrupted his angel son and condemned him to Hell. Nevermind that my husband has been gay from the day he was born and I had nothing to do with it. I was just the lucky one he took on a date to the aquarium one April day I won't ever forget. Now he gets this weird look on his face, like he's trying to he grumpy but can't be and then he says, "Thomas!" like he's excited, and he instantly gets me started talking about some book of the Bible or other. He says he wants my opinion. Even though technically, by his standards, my opinion should mean less than nothing. Clearly it doesn't and that gives me a lot of hope.

And that got me thinking. While he's much more pleasant to be around lately, he's still 100% sure I'm condemning his son to Hell, and myself with him. He says things like, "can't you boys just be friends?" No, Samson. Sorry. I'm in love with your son and part of that involves things you don't approve of. I have mentioned I'm dead. He skirts the issue. Maybe...it's time he sees the Beyond? Sometime when I'm there so we can ensure he doesn't end up getting stuck or messed with by a certain hoor named Sacrifice.

I think...if he saw it, even though he wouldn't remember a great deal of it, he wouldn't fear Hell anymore. He's starting to show the man behind the monster. I used to think you would be hard-pressed to find a worse example of a human being in his world, but the things he did, he did out of fear. Fear that was drilled in to him by his own father, and which he then tried to drill into his own kids. If we could take the fear away, it just might be okay. I hope. And I do have hope for him. Which is saying an awful lot.
suave_thomas: (Thinking of you)
Joe woke up! He's doing a lot better and now so am I. I had a long chat with Julian too, and we're just fine. Joe says he still feels ill, but the doctors are even more positive than they were yesterday. As long as he doesn't get some sort of secondary infection, we should be okay. So I did make sure I was quite clean and free of TB germs before I went in there.

Take that as a warning. Don't give my brother TB, or I will be forced to manhandle you in a violent manner, and I don't really like being violent. It's all sweaty and dirty in the wrong kind of way. And, incidentally, there's one good thing about dying. I no longer have my incredibly shitty immune system...

I went to see Samson after Jordan came back to be with Joe. He was all excited to see me. Well...Samson excited. It was really surreal... He sort of lit up and then he made me talk about the Bible. Which was easy enough, I've had enough practice! And he actually listened too. Which is good because I feel I'm giving him the less Hellfire version of Christianity. I hope it takes. But he smiled at me and complimented my mother. It's like he's unrecognisable... It pleases me.

And then I went to see poor Lavannah. She looked better today because she's talking again. She keeps coughing though, and it breaks my heart. I love Lavannah so much. I hate that this has happened to her and that it means she has to be in hospital again. I'll tell you what, if anyone told me "sorry, you have this thing which means you have to stay in a dark basement because you'll heal here" I'd be pissed off too.

Not that I am saying your hospital is like a dark basement, Petunia. Just that my dark basement is her hospital. Poor thing. But I made her smile too. That's three in one day. I feel a lot better already.

Spectre tomorrow. Then I will be complete.

June 2011

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