suave_thomas: (Annoyed disbelief)
Spectre won't see me. He's confused. Abby has been to talk to him and she got him to admit he thinks this is all a vision but she thinks that's a side effect of the drugs and fever and the trauma and not a real psychotic break so...yay? Either way, my husband kicked me out of his room.

She's going to make Spectre sleep for a few days. Hopefully the sleep will take care of the infections and just maybe he'll know I'm real next time? I hate those Templar arseholes so fucking much.

I just want to curl up and cry.
suave_thomas: (Deathly Quiet)
Last night was bad. This...Zombie Fever hasn't been uncomfortable until now, but last night was horrible. I don't know where the pain is coming from, but it's in my stomach. And all I can think of, is that what Amaris did to me is what is coming back. It's not hunger, it's just....pain. Beyond hunger. I think that's what it is.

Dammit. I just weighed myself and I've lost 3 kilos. Since yesterday. Now you tell me how a dead man can lose weight? Shit.
suave_thomas: (Broken)
Gavin's safe. He's in Rome with Saul and the boys.

According to them, Peter wasn't in the Templar compound in Rome. So we have no idea where he is.

Fuck.
suave_thomas: (Intense Thomas)
Rolf doesn't KNOW if an angel could bring someone up into the beyond and then back down again (as Tamm suggested on my previous post) like teleportation. And he offered to test it, and I really hope my "NO NO WHAT THE FUCK, NO YOU INSANE ASSHAT" actually registered in his tricentennial brain.

So yeah. If Rolf asks you if you'll help him try something, run in the opposite direction? Oops.

So far no further information from the news Zoe found either. Though I have been hung up on a lot. No news from the Beyond. Nothing from the streets. I went to see Paul and he looked like he was made up entirely of an under-eye bag. Poor guy.

Peter's awake though. He hasn't had a seizure yet today, either. So...I guess that's good news.
suave_thomas: (No nononono)
I'm sorry. I have to go. Amaris is with Peter's family and I can't just let him face her alone. I'm going. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise.
suave_thomas: (Angry Walk)
Julian still hasn't come back. My nephew is out there. Amaris is out there.

I am not going to sit here and hide behind my mother, even though nothing in this world scares me more than Amaris does. I'm going to go find Julian. She can't have him. She can have me again first. Not Julian.
suave_thomas: (:O OMG)
Oh shit oh shit oh shit Amaris got out.

Oh shit.
suave_thomas: (This is my city)
I couldn't be at the funeral today because Jordan's parents would have seen me and all hell would have broken loose. As far as I understand it, Julian wasn't there either. I can't really blame him. Poor kid.

I feel so empty right now. It's horrid and terrifying. And every time I see my son, I cling to him and he looks at me almost with pity because he knows I'm hurting. Maybe pity isn't the best word. Can a two-and-a-half year old feel sympathy? I think mostly when I was that age, I bit people and ate dubious things I found on the floor. Clearly James doesn't take after his dear old dad in that way, but I don't know. He lets me cling, and I need it. I am so terrified something will happen to him while I am gone.

So terrified, I feel fucking unmanned.
suave_thomas: (Cry)
James hasn't stopped crying since Saturday and I don't know what to do...
suave_thomas: (Angry Walk)
Is she trying to get me to turn myself over to her?!

Not Christina. Not her.
suave_thomas: (Staring and not liking)
Fuckfuckfuckfuck fuckbags fuck.

Amaris almost got me today. Kat and I were in the park but then she had to go. Zoe hurt herself, though I've been assured since then that she's fine. But she left and I was alone with James and then she was there and FUCK.

She's watching me. It's obvious now. How else would she had found me the second there wasn't another adult with me. She knows James is my son. She threatened him. So I ran, because of course, someone didn't have his mobile charged up. The hospital was the closest place and I ran there and I got nearly hit by cars and people and I slipped on ice but I kept going, and I think when I got to the hospital I actually died a little from lack of air, but we're fine. James and I are fine. He's a little scared, so he's sleeping in our room tonight with me since Spectre's in the US. He's asleep now, looking all cute and perfect.

She almost got me today. She almost got my son. After hearing what Peter's dreams entailed and thinking she could do those things to James too... No. I've never been so scared in my life.

We're okay though, Baby. Just so you know. We're both okay, just really shaken up. This wasn't supposed to happen...

June 2011

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