Ruminations of an Afterlife

I'm alive again. It's official. I had a chat with one of the immortal people we rescued in China and he did it. On accident of course, which means I have to feel guilty that someone gave up their immortality in order for me to live AGAIN, but he said he didn't mind. I suppose if he had, it wouldn't have worked.

Anyway, I'm in the hospital for a few days because I think I'm getting ill and I, once again, have no immune system.

I'm trying to be pleased about it, but I need a chance to get there. Last time this happened it ended with me in agony so I'm not overly thrilled I get to go through it again...

A Mary might be a good idea.

Ryn's here! And jolly. And he and Aly are being chummy because David's all up in her head. And Kali's here and they talk shop and I sit here feeling like a fourth wheel, which are usually necessary! They're out searching and I am stuck at home with the skull, making dinner.

I can't make dinner! I'm a gardener! I can grow it! I made sandwiches and then taught myself to do the splits. I've never tried them before. Well, not since I was about ten.

I am totally split-tastic.

I'm going crazy, can you tell? I want Peter back :|

I'm going to call my son and act useful.

Sometime in the last 2 years, Peter started believing in God again. He got his faith back and I didn't know.

THAT FREAKS ME OUT! Peter never does something I don't know about! Believe me. I know when he had sex because he has that look. I know when he's hungry or thirsty or in pain but not telling anyone. I know when he's happy, I know when he's sad and hiding it. I know when he's had something to drink. I know when he's lying, not that he does that a whole hell of a lot.

I did not know this. And I should have. How the HELL did I miss this. I MADE the man lose his faith. Me. I reveled in his faith with him before I went and died and made him all doubty. And today he was talking about God and...I didn't know what to say.

And all of a sudden I realise that I miss it. Everything's turned all around. Peter has his faith back, and I'm left out in the cold wondering what the hell to believe. Chiara's dead and I don't have a thing to draw comfort from beyond the people I love.

Honestly though...the people I love tend to be enough.

Mara (The Boss) and I are going to a carnival tomorrow. She said she thinks Amaris might be there, but I think she really wants popcorn and a lot of candy floss. And so help me...Whomever...she's going to get it and more.