To Those in the Know

[suave_thomas]

Hi, I'm not dying anymore! I still feel like hell. But lying here is boring so I'm being naughty with Peter's laptop.

I think this whole thing has been far more traumatic...for everyone involved...than anyone could have anticipated. And I'm not actually talking about me being sick, I mean me being here. But I think I'm alright now. I'm coming to terms with things, slowly. It's a lot to get used to. Living is hard. And being sick and miserable doesn't help that. It's going to be a steep learning curve. Bear with me. Still, for anyone I traumatised, I am so sorry. I won't do it again.

As far as the sick and miserable goes, my chicken pox are fading and I can swallow again (Oh blessed food, how I missed you!). Apparently my head swelled for a bit there, which my mother always warned me about, but I don't think my ego caused this. And the drugs they pumped me full of did their job. So I'm recovering and feeling better each day. And now that we know this is an issue, we can play it safe. So don't sneeze on me, y'all!

I get to go home soon, which thank Christ because being here is driving me insane. I am not a 'staying in hospitals' kind of man. I am a 'jumping over barbed wire fences' kind of man, though I may have to re-evaluate slightly...

Comments

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

It hasn't been easy, but if the worst is over, then I'm certainly happy to put it all behind us. Seeing you feeling better is just fantastic. You're looking stronger every day, Thomas. Much more like yourself again! I'm so glad you're able to eat, I hated that you couldn't. It really is wonderful to see you doing so well.

Just don't be too naughty with Peter's laptop, there! You'll make him blush...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I rather imagine that you are, Babe. I know I said I'm sorry already up there and a billion times in person, but I'm sorry! I love you. I love you and I don't want to go anywhere. Well, unless it's with you. And hey, I realised yesterday morning that this means we can do the travelling I talked about in my letters. We don't have to just hope for a quiet time when I happen to be here. We can do it when I'm better because I'll be here anyway.

I'm fucking glad I can eat too, augh that was horrible. I think I digested my stomach lining!! God, I'm disgusting, why did you marry me?!

I wish! Well, not with Peter's laptop so much as you, but my penis still has a tube. Which I think Katia is just leaving in there to be cheeky...

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

I love you too, my darling Thomas. And you're quite right, we can do the travelling thing! Oh, that will be magnificent. Just what we need, I think, a chance to get away and recuperate. Definitely something to look forward to. What a smile you've just given me.

I married you because you're the most wonderful man in the world, Thomas. There was no going back once I'd met you! I love you, disgusting stomach lining theories and all.

Oh, I wish for it too. But that Katia is a devilish one...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Recuperate is a good word! You've given me a smile too. I can't wait to go places! Beach, Spectre! Beach! Ocean fun! I'll wear speedos if you want me to!

Such wonderful things you say about me. There will be no going back. You're amazing. And I'm glad I can be gross and not scare you away!

It would probably be completely inappropriate to lock her out and pleasure you while I am still attached to machines, wouldn't it...? Dammit.

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Oooh, beach and speedos! Count me in! I love to see you smile, Thomas, and I know just how much the beach does that for you. I can't wait!

As if you could ever scare me away! We're going to forge a truly beautiful life together, my love.

Inappropriate is probably one word for it, yes! Honestly, I'd rather you were feeling better before doing that, anyway. Not the least of which reason being that I'd want to pleasure you, too!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

The beach and you. It's a perfect combination. I want to take you to Bradford too. To show you were I grew up. I can wear a beard or something so no one recognises me. It could be fun!

I know we are, Spectre. I really know we are.

But blah because I want to :(. See, I even used frowny face, which so means I'm serious!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

The beach and us. There's nothing better! To see Bradford would be lovely. I want to see all the places you talked about in your letters!

Well, I'll stop by later, and I promise we'll at least make out like schoolboys.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I can show you the fort!!! Oh the fort is awesome! Yay! Spectre, I love that I have the chance to share that part of my life with you, as well as this one.

Hot damn! I'll even take the tubes out of my nose!!

That should have sounded sexier... Nah, there's no way to make that sexier.

I was reading your journal and Deirdre's journal, reading about the tour. I love that you all had such a wonderful time. I loved watching it. But reading it made me smile all over again. I'm very proud of you, my love.

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Yes please! I really want to see that place, where you spent so many good times as a child. I want to be with you as you re-live the memories. It's going to be a joy beyond words to know that part of your life even more intimately than I already do.

Hahaha! Probably not, but the intent was sweet!

Thank you so much, Thomas! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It was an amazing experience, and I've come back with so many ideas. They're going to be big, when I feel ready to start working on them. Things are still... pretty full. But that means I have a lot to express, too, and I will.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I'll tell you anything you want to know, Gorgeous. If you want, we can go to Glasgow too. Make some good memories? We don't have to, but we have the chance.

I do like to gussy up for you, Darling!

I think everyone understands that, Honey. When you're ready, people will be blown away. They always are. I can't wait to find out what you're cooking up!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

I think I'd like that. The memories I have aren't all as good as yours, but there are still places I could show you, places that have had an impact on my life. I'd like to share them with you. The street corner where I first heard the Sex Pistols playing from a record store. The bar where I started playing for a feed at the end of the night, like Flynn. Even the school music rooms. Yeah... I think it'd be good to see Glasgow with you, especially now that there's no one there to cause trouble.

Well, I must say you gussy up mighty fine, gorgeous!

For you, Thomas, I just might be willing to give away a few secrets! But I'll reveal those to you in person...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

No one to cause trouble is right. I've been there twice now, once good and once bad. I'd like to tip the scales there in favour of good. I want to see your bar and your music rooms and the places you found happiness because it's all part of you. And I love you.

I feel so decidedly unattractive right now, that it's nice to hear that. I realise it makes me weird, but I have never felt unattractive in my life until now!

Oh, but then it might spoil the surprise!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

I'd like to tip the scales as well. Glasgow is my home. It's time for it to be a place of greater good. I love you, Thomas. Making memories there with you will be the perfect remedy.

Thomas, my dearest darling, you could never be unattractive to me. Even with tubes in your nose! I'm very glad you know you are attractive, under normal circumstances. Not many people are able to know that about themselves. It really lifts my heart that you do.

Well, if you don't want me to give you spoilers, I completely understand that! I'll leave the decision in your capable hands...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Perfect.

I have tubes and I'm still spotty though fading and I'm wearing a stupid nightdress and it is not pleasant. But it could be far worse! As for the other thing, chalk that up to Mums and my siblings. They're very good at making people feel secure about themselves.

Hands! You're a naughty minx...

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

No, it certainly doesn't sound pleasant! But indeed, the worst is behind us now, and I'm looking forward to things being much better. I'm so grateful for Mums and our family, Thomas. For all the things they've done... I will always be so grateful.

Ha! Well, I can't deny it...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

My pretty will return?! Excellent! I'll always be grateful too, Gorgeous. Absolutely. Coming back for you all...it's a wonderful thing.

No, no you cannot!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Yes, it truly is. And nothing makes me happier than the fact that you feel that way now, too.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

How could I not, seeing the way you all smile at me now that I'm going to be okay. That's pretty damn priceless.

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Hooray for smiles, then!

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

Coming from you, the phrase "being naughty with Peter's laptop" conjures all sorts of interesting images...

I can't wait to see you back home, Thomas. I'm sure you'll recover even more quickly once you're there. There's nothing like love and happiness for a swift recovery. And appropriate medication, of course.

As for the traumatic side of things, you'd better not do it again. I would have given you a bollocking beyond your imagination!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

It's because I'm a naughty boy, Mary. You'll have to punish me. Sometime when I am not wearing a gown that shows my arse...

Pill make happy! I just want walls and bed and people I know. And not getting stuck with things. Part of being alive seems to be far too many needles...

I know, Mary. I really know. I love you. And I won't. I really, really won't. You were right, I was just going insane from being sick. And you know...Peter. It happens. Well apparently it happens to me. I won't take the easy way out. I'd give myself a bollocking too.

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

I don't know, some people like that sort of thing...

You certainly have had a great deal of needles. That should all be over soon though, and you won't have to worry any more. No more than anyone else, anyway. And why worry, when you have a beautiful husband and wife to be with you?

I love you, Thomas. I love you so much. See, Mary knows best. I certainly know you won't take the easy way out. You're one of the strongest men I've ever known.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

This gown is not sexy. Do you think it's sexy? I look pathetic...

Well said, my beautiful Mary. Why worry indeed. I have everything I could ever want. Or I will, once Peter is home...

I know Mary knows best. You think I wouldn't have gotten that down by now...

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

I can't say I really understand the hospital gown fetish, myself. I'm more one for the tight leather pants any day.

Once Peter is home, things will be very well indeed. It surely won't be long now.

Haha, well, it's a good thing I'll always be willing to remind you!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Hey, I have me some of those! I hope they still fit now that I'm all alive and foodstarved.

I have faith in Peter and Deirdre. They will be.

I think everyone else will remind me too, Gorgeous. I should just keep a tally of the amount of times people say, "Mary's right..."

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

If they don't now, I'm sure they'll fit perfectly again soon enough, my love.

I have faith in them, too. Absolutely.

Haha, good tally. Yes, do that!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Gorging myself will be my leather pants diet!

As everyone should.

You got it, Babe. It's going to be huge. (I just typed 'hugs'...)

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

Mmm, good leather pants diet, too!

There can be hugs! I love Thomas hugs.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I thought so as well! I could also be my Mums Diet...

I love Mary everything.

[lady-with-thee.livejournal.com]

Oooh, very true! I love Thomas everything, too. Always.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

I was so scared for you, Thomas. Especially after the trouble Dad's brain gave him. I was so afraid to lose you, so soon after getting you back. But now I get to see you being you, and soon being home, and just... everything's going to be so much better. I can feel it. I love you, Thomas. I'm so happy. Though it may be time for you to invest in some wire-cutters...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I know you were, Sweetheart. And I'm sorry you had to be. I'll try my utmost to be as me as I can be to reassure you. I love you too, Sweetheart.

Why...wire-cutters?

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

It's okay, things are better now. This post was a damn good start to the reassuring, too. You're wonderful. And I see you caught up with the whole wire-cutters thing down there. I think we can forgive you for not quite being up to full speed yet, after everything you've been through.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Food makes brain work better! Mums keeps feeding me everything, which is quite lovely, I have to say!

I'm glad you're feeling better, Tasha. I hate when you're upset. I'm glad to see that Kali is still with us as well. I'll go visit her when I am more fit to move around.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

I'll bet! Lavinia is truly awesome. I love that she takes such wonderful care of you, and everyone.

Yes, it's the most wonderful news about Kali! I'm sure she'll be thrilled to receive a visit from you. I think you do wonders wherever you go, lovely.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

She always has and always will.

Why thank you! So do you, incidentally! Come see me, I want Tasha hugs! Bring Hope! I was Hope hugs too!

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

Damn right.

Aww, I'm so glad! We'll be there soon, sweetie, and oh how there shall be hugs.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Excellent! All good things!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Oh right the fence thing!

Memory is still catching up to brain!