To Those in the Know and Kat

[suave_thomas]

I went out drinking with my Mum last night. Well, 'drinking' meaning we each had one because I'm not here to get pissed and she's 76. I'll tell you what, though, Lavinia Littleton is a hellcat! She got like 4 phone numbers...which I am disturbed by, but you know...cest la vie, right? Anyway, we had a fantastic time even though she made me dance with her and then people kept saying things about 'boytoy' and so she told everyone proudly that I was her son. And then she smacked my arse, to leave them wondering if she was lying or not... My mum is so cute.

Then we were arguing about who was more attractive, the boy playing guitar or Daniel Craig. She has this James Bond thing. And the argument dissolved in to silliness.

Thomas: What would you know, you had them put a cherub on my headstone. (I can imagine that might have sounded strange to people...)
Lavinia: It was that or a weeping woman.
Thomas: Mum! Weeping woman! Always weeping woman! No one needs naked fat baby angels on their headstone! They creep me out!
Lavinia: I know! It was to get back at you for dying!
Thomas: Oh right.
Lavinia: And that's only because they wouldn't put a stonecutting of greenbeans on there.
Thomas: GAH! Evil woman!
Lavinia: You deserved it! I went through 47 hours of labor for you!
Thomas: Yeah yeah.
Lavinia: And when you came out, you tore my-
Thomas: NO! NONONO! YOU WIN!

And then she did a victory dance and said that works everytime. She, she IS evil. I am Spawn of Evil.

Comments

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

I love your MUM! I want her to adopt me, though that might be kind of odd...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

She's adopted Spectre!

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Oh! I stand corrected then, and would like to become a Littleton!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Come over and play Scrabble! Mum plays dirty. She says 'twat' gets a triple words score no matter what because it's the most useful word in the English language...

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

*snorts* Brilliant!

[hail-st-joseph.livejournal.com]

How come you get boytoy and I get 'Golddigger'?!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Because I'm...is jaunty an appropriate word here?

[hail-st-joseph.livejournal.com]

I think 'Berk' is an appropriate word here!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Quite possibly!

[abigail-lilith.livejournal.com]

Jaunty Berk?

[winters-love.livejournal.com]

Green beans?

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Evvvviiiillllllllllll.

[winters-love.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I used to have to hoe them too! As a monk.

I didn't weed the damn things. They deserve to die!

[winters-love.livejournal.com]

But you hoeing evil green beans is a very funny mental image! You look quite disgruntled in it!

[deirdre-ionuin.livejournal.com]

NOooooooo. BEAN RACIST!

EQUALITY FOR BEANS EVERYWHERE!

I don't actually care, I just wanted to say that because I like the word 'bean'.

[seminalsemiotic.livejournal.com]

I didn't think monks were very adept at the ho thing? *innocent look*

[twilightrobe.livejournal.com]

wow, now that's gotta be an experience. a fuckin' awesome one, though. i can totally see sinkin' some piss with lavinia, she'd be a great drinkin' buddy. so, these phone numbers... they thomas approved, then? i don't see you lettin' no gold-diggers near your mum...

guitar is so much sexier than james bond.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

She says "I'll take Tamm drinking any time!" So there you go! And as for the numbers...I don't actually know, she managed to acquire them without me noticing because she's sneaky.

[twilightrobe.livejournal.com]

brilliant! gotta love her. totally got the stealth happenin' and all. what a great lady.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Maybe she's James Bond!?

Seriously though, she is a great lady!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Daniel Craig is doable I suppose, but there's just a certain mystique about the guitar... wouldn't you agree? There must be something to it, if you're looking at another guitar playing boy!

Anyway, I'm so pleased you and Lavinia had a good time. I'm also pleased the labour was forty-seven hours and not forty-seven years as I read initially...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I wasn't! Not like...that.

That's horrendous! And older than me!

[in-spectre-mors.livejournal.com]

Don't be silly, I know it wasn't like that! Besides, you have every right to look. I wouldn't get upset about that!

I know it's horrendous, that's why I did a double-take, and was gratified to realise my error!

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

No, I know. He reminded me of you. That's why I was looking. Because of you. Because I love you.