Filtered to Spectre and Tasha

[suave_thomas]

I don't know what to do. I know Peter wants me here because he's terrified of what will happen when Aly has the baby, even though I'm sure everything will be just fine. And there's so much going on here too... And I wanted my Valentine's Day, dammit. Which is selfish, but I'm human even if I am dead.

But I know they could use me in Rome. Because if I went in there, they couldn't kill me. I know the layout. Gavin, Tamm, and Stephie can all die. I can't. It's like...there's no one left. Josie can't go and Razvan's protecting Liz's family...though it uhm...seems like that fear has been taken care of... But I'm sure that with all the crap happening, someone needs to stay here. Allanah's here. But Rosa's gone, and Rolf's gone, and I'm rambling because I don't want to go. I don't want to go to Rome. You all saw what they did to me there. It terrifies me, but it terrifies me more to think that it could be happening to Kay and Deirdre. Just no. But if I go, is that running out on the reason I'm here? Will I just disappear then!?

God, I don't know what to do!

Comments

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Peter asked me to stay. So I feel like...if I leave here, I'm abandoning him...

Worse doesn't factor in to it. We've both been there, period. And it's terrifying, but I can't be afraid forever. Especially when Stephie and Tamm and Gavin aren't letting that get in the way. Gavin was with them for a year! And the worst they can do to me has already been done. I used to be far braver than this...

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's true, Thomas. I think that if you didn't have the matter of Dad needing you, you'd go to Rome. It's not a matter you not being brave. It's a matter of being torn between two needs, and we get that.

None of us can let those people make us afraid forever. If we do, that's a victory for them. We're all trying. You, me, Stephie, Peter. We're doing the best that we can.

I think that wherever you are, there will be plenty of opportunity for bravery...

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

That is what it is.

Thank you, Tasha. I guess Spectre was on to something when he said I'm not the only dead person around. And Mary would probably kick me if I didn't let her come help because I was all worried. And she kicks hard.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, Thomas, always. The Mary plan does sound like a good one. I know you'll worry terribly... we all will. But she's good at what she does. I think the party we've assembled will be able to handle this.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I know she's good at what she does, I just...yeah. Worry. But she had to worry about me when I went off all half-cocked and ended up half-arsed. And she doesn't have to come. I think she'll want to, though.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

Well, that's certainly... a good point. And true, no one can force her to come. I think she'll want to, too. She's had a lot longer to see things, to experience things, to build up her walls against them, than any of us. I think she'd be a very good person for the job.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

My Mary is amazing. She's amazing and I love her.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

I love her too. And you.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

I love you too!