Ruminations of an Afterlife

First off, Thomas, you're not being selfish. I want my Valentine's Day with you, too. And I truly hope all this can be over by then. You're right... there is an incredible amount of darkness we need to focus our energies on. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed.

I think that wherever you are, you'll help. A lot. If it's Peter you're here for, maybe it's best you do stay with him. There are a lot of people who need Peter to be okay, and if you can help with that... that's a big help. If the people going to Rome need someone who can't die... maybe Mary should come back, too? It's a possibility. On the other hand, you do know the layout as you said, and maybe having two people who know that will be better than having one.

I don't have the answer, I'm just bouncing thoughts around to see if anything strikes you...

From:

I don't want to send Mary there!! Send Robert!

Ahem.

I should be here for Peter. But I should be there. ARGH why can't there be two of me! Well there is two of me technically, but one is less than helpful. And probably a skeleton!! Why...I needed to say that, I don't know, ew.

And clearly, I am still clueless too...

From:

Well, yes... that's an option, too. Though he may well be as reluctant to enter the belly of the beast as anyone else...

If skeleton you actually did make himself useful, I'd probably be more than a little disturbed. Creepy hoodoo.

Have you asked Peter what he thinks?

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Better him than my Mary! See, I'm not afraid to be bitter, he touched my bits. Well he touched yours too, but he had permission then...

I just had the most disgusting visual and I choose not to share it with you...

No! Because I'm a weenie! At the moment, anyway. I don't want him to make that face because when he makes that face and I know he's being strong on the outside and inside his heart just shattered into a gazillion little tiny tinkling pieces, I feel like the worst person in the world...

From:

Yes, that whole Thomas-touching incident was more than a bit dodgy. But at least he was sorry, unlike some rapists I could mention...

Oooh, disgusting. But no, you're right, probably best not shared if you think it's disgusting, you boy.

No... I see what you mean. I hate that it would be like that for Peter. I hate that he's in that position, that any of us are. It just seems like it might be something to consider. He may be able to help you, just as you help him.

From:

Mmm. Which is why I punched that man in the face. And then there was revenge, but whatever. I still got mine in...

You're the one being disgusting in my mental image, I'll have you know!!

He always does. You're right.

From:

You certainly did, at that.

Ooooh. Oh dear! Eew Thomas, that is disgusting!

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I did warn you and then you were all *taunts* and now I bet you wish you hadn't, hmm?!

Honey? Can you get my Mary for me? If she wants to be getted, that is... I'll come be with you so you're not alone.

I don't want this to have to be the way. But I can't leave Peter. I keep finding him crying in corners...

From:

Never! I enjoy you even when you're being completely and utterly disgusting.

Yes, Thomas. Absolutely. Of course I will. I know you didn't want it to be like this, but you're right. Peter needs you. It seems to be the best option we've been left with...

From:

That's weird, Baby.

Robert would probably squeal and hide anyway and Mary would have to come rescue him...

Thank you.

From:

I'm a weird kind of guy.

You know... that's almost cute. Mainly the thought of little Mary rescuing ginormous Robert...

You're always welcome, my love.

From:

I like weird!

Awww! Yeah, it rather is. My Mary's adorable. I'm going to freak out. I may be clingy. Honey, it won't bother you if I'm clingy, right?

From:

Good!

Thomas, it won't bother me at all. It never would. I'm going to be extremely worried about them all, too. Clinging to each other will definitely be in order.

From:

I love you so much, My Spectre. I'll be there in a moment.

From:

I love you so much too, my Thomas.

From:

I'm going to spend the night with her. That's okay, right? I mean you're okay, right?

From:

Yes, of course. I'll have Mara with me, and Abby and Stuart and Flynn will be here if we need anything. Be with Mary, Thomas. I know how much you both need it.

From:

You're amazing, Babe.

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I'm in good company, gorgeous.

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Thomas, you're one of the least selfish people I know. You're always doing everything you can to help others. I know that wherever you decide to be, it will be the right thing, and you will do so much good. Either place is good for you to be. Personally, I like the idea of you being there to protect Stephie. But I like the idea of you being here to help Dad, too.

I don't know... I'm here for Dad, but I can't go to Rome. Well, I could, I guess, but... I don't know. I guess I'm too scared. I sure as hell don't blame you for being afraid of that place. We've both been there, even if you got it a hell of a lot worse than I did...

From:

Peter asked me to stay. So I feel like...if I leave here, I'm abandoning him...

Worse doesn't factor in to it. We've both been there, period. And it's terrifying, but I can't be afraid forever. Especially when Stephie and Tamm and Gavin aren't letting that get in the way. Gavin was with them for a year! And the worst they can do to me has already been done. I used to be far braver than this...

From:

I don't think that's true, Thomas. I think that if you didn't have the matter of Dad needing you, you'd go to Rome. It's not a matter you not being brave. It's a matter of being torn between two needs, and we get that.

None of us can let those people make us afraid forever. If we do, that's a victory for them. We're all trying. You, me, Stephie, Peter. We're doing the best that we can.

I think that wherever you are, there will be plenty of opportunity for bravery...

From:

That is what it is.

Thank you, Tasha. I guess Spectre was on to something when he said I'm not the only dead person around. And Mary would probably kick me if I didn't let her come help because I was all worried. And she kicks hard.

From:

You're welcome, Thomas, always. The Mary plan does sound like a good one. I know you'll worry terribly... we all will. But she's good at what she does. I think the party we've assembled will be able to handle this.

From:

I know she's good at what she does, I just...yeah. Worry. But she had to worry about me when I went off all half-cocked and ended up half-arsed. And she doesn't have to come. I think she'll want to, though.

From:

Well, that's certainly... a good point. And true, no one can force her to come. I think she'll want to, too. She's had a lot longer to see things, to experience things, to build up her walls against them, than any of us. I think she'd be a very good person for the job.

From:

My Mary is amazing. She's amazing and I love her.

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I love her too. And you.

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